Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Finally the work week is over. I have my three days off and I feel tired as heck from those three days. Dealing is a real burnout job and it is starting to burn burn burn.
I think It's weird how I sit here and ponder about things all day when I have nothing to do. I have a cycle of thoughts that go from one thing to another and then back to square one.
This is what has been going around my head today:
-I want to sleep more.
-I can't sleep and I'm getting bored.
-Why is my brother playing his loud death metal music when he knows I'm sleeping!??
-What am I going to eat?
-What do I want to eat?
-I'm soo bored.
-That dumb white wannabe black girl is annoying me on facebook with her born again christian updates.
-I want to sleep more.
Then there are the deeper thoughts that come from the extended boredom, like how I feel underneath it all. Like how I want to go out and do something but I don't have the money to go anywhere. And if I did have money, there is no where to go to. And if there is some where to go to, I have no one to go with due to the fact that I don't have money.
I know it sounds kinda bad, but I really should mooch more often. I have all kinds of people inviting me to places and they just don't realize how much I just can't spend. I should take advantage of the fact that they want to go out and take me all the time even if I don't want to spend the money. Wow, that sounds really really bad. But seriously, they want to be expensive about it, might as well. But the things they want to do are not within my interest. Like shopping for cds. Who does that any more????? AMAZON!
Some times I wonder what kind of life I would have if I really did let loose. I wonder how my bonds would be with certain people if I took their invitations each and every time they invited me places. For some reason I just can't let loose and just go with the flow of certain things. I just realized how much of a high self-monitor and introverted person I am and I just can't seem to let loose on certain things.
I wonder if my high self-monitoring traits contribute to the fact that I internally don't get along well with a lot of people. Although I am a peace keeper, I get annoyed at a lot of things. I get annoyed when people are too slow, too timid,too childish, too impulsive, too indecisive, too arrogant, knows it all and are just plain rude. I also get really annoyed when they don't have consideration for others as well. There have been many times where I hang out with one person, and never again do I want to see them again. It's like a date gone wrong, only no romance involved. And I find it funny how it's a lot of factors that just really make me want to avoid them. I sound like a jerk.
I think it's also the fact that I don't get along with these mainstream attitudes that are arising with my young peers these days. There are a number of trends these days going on:
-Psuedo artistic fashionistas
-Myspace picture takers ( with the bangs )
-Bro's and BroHo's
-The anorexic vegan wannabe indie rockers who smoke pot and eat beef top ramen and claim they met Curt Cobain when he was alive so they think they are the SH**
-The scene hipsters that just have to wear pink and turquoise and black with golden guns And make these <333 all day and try to be cute. ( and they wear ridiculous combinations of patterns along with spandex skinny jeans that make their legs look fat [guys and girls alike])
-The just turned 21 crew that drink drink drink and talk about it every where so proudly and openly in an obnoxious manner.
-The twilight people (" ohhh Edward!!" me says: Shut the f*** up)
-The dragon people
-The Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton followers (that's not hawt)
-The overly political bullshitters
-PETA people
and last but not least,
-People who want to be/act like/try to be/fail to be black.
These are just some of the things I don't understand with my generation.
I myself, am a hipster. I admit it. Admit with disdain. I have my own style of everything and blahhh but I think I'm pretty responsible with things. I think the thing that really makes me mad is that they act so pompous and although confidence is great to have, act responsibly please!!
I think I'm done. My mom got home and she's asking why I didn't cook rice.
I think It's weird how I sit here and ponder about things all day when I have nothing to do. I have a cycle of thoughts that go from one thing to another and then back to square one.
This is what has been going around my head today:
-I want to sleep more.
-I can't sleep and I'm getting bored.
-Why is my brother playing his loud death metal music when he knows I'm sleeping!??
-What am I going to eat?
-What do I want to eat?
-I'm soo bored.
-That dumb white wannabe black girl is annoying me on facebook with her born again christian updates.
-I want to sleep more.
Then there are the deeper thoughts that come from the extended boredom, like how I feel underneath it all. Like how I want to go out and do something but I don't have the money to go anywhere. And if I did have money, there is no where to go to. And if there is some where to go to, I have no one to go with due to the fact that I don't have money.
I know it sounds kinda bad, but I really should mooch more often. I have all kinds of people inviting me to places and they just don't realize how much I just can't spend. I should take advantage of the fact that they want to go out and take me all the time even if I don't want to spend the money. Wow, that sounds really really bad. But seriously, they want to be expensive about it, might as well. But the things they want to do are not within my interest. Like shopping for cds. Who does that any more????? AMAZON!
Some times I wonder what kind of life I would have if I really did let loose. I wonder how my bonds would be with certain people if I took their invitations each and every time they invited me places. For some reason I just can't let loose and just go with the flow of certain things. I just realized how much of a high self-monitor and introverted person I am and I just can't seem to let loose on certain things.
I wonder if my high self-monitoring traits contribute to the fact that I internally don't get along well with a lot of people. Although I am a peace keeper, I get annoyed at a lot of things. I get annoyed when people are too slow, too timid,too childish, too impulsive, too indecisive, too arrogant, knows it all and are just plain rude. I also get really annoyed when they don't have consideration for others as well. There have been many times where I hang out with one person, and never again do I want to see them again. It's like a date gone wrong, only no romance involved. And I find it funny how it's a lot of factors that just really make me want to avoid them. I sound like a jerk.
I think it's also the fact that I don't get along with these mainstream attitudes that are arising with my young peers these days. There are a number of trends these days going on:
-Psuedo artistic fashionistas
-Myspace picture takers ( with the bangs )
-Bro's and BroHo's
-The anorexic vegan wannabe indie rockers who smoke pot and eat beef top ramen and claim they met Curt Cobain when he was alive so they think they are the SH**
-The scene hipsters that just have to wear pink and turquoise and black with golden guns And make these <333 all day and try to be cute. ( and they wear ridiculous combinations of patterns along with spandex skinny jeans that make their legs look fat [guys and girls alike])
-The just turned 21 crew that drink drink drink and talk about it every where so proudly and openly in an obnoxious manner.
-The twilight people (" ohhh Edward!!" me says: Shut the f*** up)
-The dragon people
-The Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton followers (that's not hawt)
-The overly political bullshitters
-PETA people
and last but not least,
-People who want to be/act like/try to be/fail to be black.
These are just some of the things I don't understand with my generation.
I myself, am a hipster. I admit it. Admit with disdain. I have my own style of everything and blahhh but I think I'm pretty responsible with things. I think the thing that really makes me mad is that they act so pompous and although confidence is great to have, act responsibly please!!
I think I'm done. My mom got home and she's asking why I didn't cook rice.
your amazing.