I really do not like being at home. I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm creating it, but there is just so much tension between me and my family. Its gotten to the point where I try to keep my answers sweet and simple just so we don't have to sit there face to face for too long.
It has always kind of been this way between me and my family. I think I'm a lot more laid back with total strangers and friends a lot of the time. I don't know what it is but we have some great tension between us when it comes to me v.s. Them. Its not like I want this to happen. Its just the way it is. Always has been my whole life actually.
I don't know if desperate is the word for how I've been going about, but I've been hanging out with people that really don't suit my fancy, but I'm just out to be out since my regular crew that I love are kind if busier these days.
I've been hanging out with Leah here and there. That girl is a different story in her own. I don't want to get involved with anyone outside of me and her. She attracts ugly pompous jerks who just want to have sex with her and have nothing good to talk about besides beer and trucks. Leah is a pretty gal, but her taste in men do not suit her or her interests one bit. She needs to get slapped.
I've also been hanging out with Regina. I met her daughter and their relationship sometimes looks like a sister/sister relationship because she tells her to get out of her room, and off her bed and what not. Her daughter likes me but she's a bit annoying because she's off the walls and tugging at my pant legs. I brought my guitar over and played some tunes. I'm not all that great as a singer but I found out she really can't sing at all. I got the impression that since she can do karaoke, she can sing. Boy was I wrong. I give her credit for trying though. I told her about how you can change a song's key to fit your vocal range and she was amazed at that. I don't know anything about voice lessons but I bet I can teach her a thing or two about music in general so she can hit all the notes I find her struggling in.
I've also been hanging out a little bit with Malaykham. The only reason why I agree to go with her is because she buys me food all the time. I know it sounds really bad, but that's literally an Incentive to sit there and listen to her rants about "her man" and how much he loves her. I don't know how she comes up with this but its an every day thing. To be honest her boyfriend is an annoying man who thinks way too highly of himself and he is so lazyyyy. And all she talks about is how much he loves her and how much she loves him. And for some reason she loves to gossip about his past girlfriends. C'mon, he has had relationships but he isn't some hot fox thatll go out and be Mr. Suave, he is an older fat man who can't take care of himself properly who thinks he has a hot body. No. That man just has a very exaggerated sense of himself.
That's all she talks about. All day. I mean it sounds painful, but when there's free food in front of you, it doesn't sound all too bad. And its not like I ask her to buy me food either. She invites me and says "ill buy" and she insists in buying. In these hard times of money crisis, she's the perfect one to be around. Sure, ill listen to anything as long as there's free food. People don't understand the value of free food. Well, its like I'm working for it since I'm listening to things I don't want to hear about.
Work has been kind of whatever. It has been like that for a while. I just don't care about my coworkers. Aside from my friends from the other departments, I really don't care for my coworkers. I come to work and joke around for the sake of loosening up, but as soon as I clock out they really aren't important to me any more. I don't mind their drinking habits, and I'd probably be more interested in joining them for a drink or two if they didn't bring it back to work. I just hate how you can't have a good time without work knowing. Its quite embarrassing. And it isn't professional.
So that's what I've been up tp these days. I have some goals set. I've been going light on the gym this week just because I felt lazy. I still went. At least I went. Hah.
I've also been drawing a lot lately. I've come to the realization that its more of a hobby. I remember in high school it was hard for me to draw anything when told to. I have to pull it out of no where to make it a good drawing. Its just the way it is!
I guess the past few days have been fun. I'm not at home too much and I notice I'm less miserable being out of the house. But sometimes I wonder if this is going to benefit me in the long run. Home relationships are already kind of not there any more so what else do I have to lose?
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
It's fine to get out of the house and be more social. I don't know about your family, but with mine, tensions kind of dissipate with time and things return back to normal. Hehehe, I use food and candy to keep spirits up in the home.
And free food in exchange for conversation, where do I signup? Hahaha, seriously where?
And I didn't know you played guitar. That's so cool! You should serenade your next bf. That would be so hot/cute. ^.^