Saturday, January 31, 2009
Usually, I have my ways of avoiding people I don't care for. I am really good at the passive aggressive thing.
Well, in this case, I think I was even doing it to someone even when somewhat confronted about it. I don't know if I sound like a jerk or not, but when you really don't care for someone, why are you going to make an effort to go out of your way to speak to them when you clearly have nothing nice to say? I think being nice and acknowledging their presence is good enough.
But anyway, back then, I befriended one of the new guys. He was cool, we talked about this and that and I pretty much cracked his shy shell and I was one of the first people he opened up to talk to. But one day, he just made this super immature joke that really turned me off, and since then every word that came out of his mouth was just making it worse for me and soon before you know it, I don't really talk to him any more. When we were on the same break, I would pass right by him kinda, and give him the half smile, and not sit down with him. Or if I sat down that the same table, I would sit all the way at the really far end. And when we come in to work, he passes right by me and I sometimes just pass by like I don't notice.
I didn't notice it before but I gave some strong signs that I don't want to talk to him. Sometimes I'll be talking to my buddies and he'll come out of no where and I'll shut up.
But I was confronted today this morning. I was waiting in the break room for a friend to get off work since I was sent home early and he came in for his break. I didn't really notice him(because that's what I do anyway) but he sat right in front of me and in a low quiet voice asked how I was doing.
Him: "How are you doing?"
Me:"I've been better, and you?"
Him:"Is there anything bothering you?"
Me:"No, why?"
Him:"You've been a little quiet."
Me:"No I haven't."
Him:"Around me you have,is there anything wrong? Anything bothering you?"
Me:"No, I'm fine heh heh ... ( but I was thinking, I don't want to talk to you)"
And that was that, I talked to him a little bit. Asked about how he liked the job and all, in a disinterested manner though, I couldn't force myself to sound all too enthused. But that was the confrontation, he was talking to me okay, asking me a lot of questions as well. At least he knows my vibe and doesn't try to kiss ass like the other white boy I don't like.
But something tells me that my attitude won't change. I don't know, this may sound like a stupid mind game, in which I don't like doing mind you, but I kinda want to see how he'll react now that he's kinda on to me about my sudden awkwardness. I notice he changes his personality around me, like he doesn't mess around and sounds so benevolent. But I've heard him mess around, and not in a way I would consider a smart way either. I am not the most mature person in the world as it is, but the way he talks is like night and day with people, he's this one minute then that the other minute. I just want to see where this ends up. He seems like he's all concerned about me not really talking to him any more.
So much for that.
I played rock band at my friend Karen's house. I got better at the drums and I got to sing a lot. I feel all proud because I can do the singing in expert, and the songs they were all playing were all kinds of crazy voiced ones. I want to buy it for myself so I can get better at the drums, I'm already at the hard setting, I want to see how hard the Expert mode is!!
Well, I am off to sleep. I need sleep. I barely got any yesterday. Like two hours I think?
Okay, oyasumi.
Well, in this case, I think I was even doing it to someone even when somewhat confronted about it. I don't know if I sound like a jerk or not, but when you really don't care for someone, why are you going to make an effort to go out of your way to speak to them when you clearly have nothing nice to say? I think being nice and acknowledging their presence is good enough.
But anyway, back then, I befriended one of the new guys. He was cool, we talked about this and that and I pretty much cracked his shy shell and I was one of the first people he opened up to talk to. But one day, he just made this super immature joke that really turned me off, and since then every word that came out of his mouth was just making it worse for me and soon before you know it, I don't really talk to him any more. When we were on the same break, I would pass right by him kinda, and give him the half smile, and not sit down with him. Or if I sat down that the same table, I would sit all the way at the really far end. And when we come in to work, he passes right by me and I sometimes just pass by like I don't notice.
I didn't notice it before but I gave some strong signs that I don't want to talk to him. Sometimes I'll be talking to my buddies and he'll come out of no where and I'll shut up.
But I was confronted today this morning. I was waiting in the break room for a friend to get off work since I was sent home early and he came in for his break. I didn't really notice him(because that's what I do anyway) but he sat right in front of me and in a low quiet voice asked how I was doing.
Him: "How are you doing?"
Me:"I've been better, and you?"
Him:"Is there anything bothering you?"
Me:"No, why?"
Him:"You've been a little quiet."
Me:"No I haven't."
Him:"Around me you have,is there anything wrong? Anything bothering you?"
Me:"No, I'm fine heh heh ... ( but I was thinking, I don't want to talk to you)"
And that was that, I talked to him a little bit. Asked about how he liked the job and all, in a disinterested manner though, I couldn't force myself to sound all too enthused. But that was the confrontation, he was talking to me okay, asking me a lot of questions as well. At least he knows my vibe and doesn't try to kiss ass like the other white boy I don't like.
But something tells me that my attitude won't change. I don't know, this may sound like a stupid mind game, in which I don't like doing mind you, but I kinda want to see how he'll react now that he's kinda on to me about my sudden awkwardness. I notice he changes his personality around me, like he doesn't mess around and sounds so benevolent. But I've heard him mess around, and not in a way I would consider a smart way either. I am not the most mature person in the world as it is, but the way he talks is like night and day with people, he's this one minute then that the other minute. I just want to see where this ends up. He seems like he's all concerned about me not really talking to him any more.
So much for that.
I played rock band at my friend Karen's house. I got better at the drums and I got to sing a lot. I feel all proud because I can do the singing in expert, and the songs they were all playing were all kinds of crazy voiced ones. I want to buy it for myself so I can get better at the drums, I'm already at the hard setting, I want to see how hard the Expert mode is!!
Well, I am off to sleep. I need sleep. I barely got any yesterday. Like two hours I think?
Okay, oyasumi.
Sleep Sleep. I took a 2hr nap today, guess the lack of sleeping is catching up.
I know what you mean. Sometimes people can irk you in ways you can't stand when you get to know them more than at a superficial level. I try to give everyone a couple of chances, and then just bail if it doesn't work out. But yea, passive aggressive, I do that too. Hahaha. People need to get the message sometimes. lol.
Hehehe, I played guitar hero a while back and it was HARD. lol. Games are outgrowing me.
Haha, your 2hr nap was my refreshing night's worth of sleep. I seriously don't get any sleep during the work days.
I gave this guy a lot of chances and he ended up almost in the annoying-to-the-point-of-no-return category.
Being passive aggressive is my nature.