Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I am starting realize that I don't like superficial friendships. I tolerate them, and sometimes I allow it to happen more than I want, but it is just really starting to really get on my nerves. I deactivated my Facebook account today. There's no one I really talk to on there. Sure, co-workers, Family, old school mates and such, but all the people that I talk to I speak with in person, or I am in contact with them. And all my friends that I really hung out with in high school aren't even on there. So who do I have on there? A bunch of acquaintances, people I don't really care for. People I see all the time but I don't really notice. People that thought I was funny because they've heard my off-the-wall conversations from a distance. Just people. Not friends.
I kept on checking that crap like I really cared about it, but all I get is the occasional "I miss you" and stuff. But these people really don't know anything about me and what I am about.
Leah is a big offender of this. I don't know why but I treat her like an ex or something even if we didn't go out or anything. In high school, for that one year we were pretty close. She was cool, and I admit, we did like each other but we never did have the thought of going out. And after three years since graduation, we hung out for a while and I was always finding things to do. We had an okay time, it was nothing special, but she made me feel really devalued as a person. She used me so she can have someone to go to a party with even if it means ditching me to go make out with another guy. And she was really selfish. And she made me feel ugly in different ways I cannot express clearly.
Now, to be honest, I'm not even sure I'm talking about superficial relationships any more, but eh. Oh well.
One more thing, I'm laying off the Alcohol. I don't drink much but when I do, It's crazy. And even if it's easy to say "limit" yourself, it's hard to do that when you don't drink a lot initially.
Alcohol makes me so weird. I mean it makes everyone weird and act out of character but I don't like what I get into. It's like I get the balls to do anything I want. I get super flirtatious with everyone, including strangers, I talk my head off about nonsense, and ugh, I just don't like it. So far I haven't gotten any complaints on my inebriated actions, they actually like it, But I feel so trashy when I do it!
Well, on to finishing my laundry.
I kept on checking that crap like I really cared about it, but all I get is the occasional "I miss you" and stuff. But these people really don't know anything about me and what I am about.
Leah is a big offender of this. I don't know why but I treat her like an ex or something even if we didn't go out or anything. In high school, for that one year we were pretty close. She was cool, and I admit, we did like each other but we never did have the thought of going out. And after three years since graduation, we hung out for a while and I was always finding things to do. We had an okay time, it was nothing special, but she made me feel really devalued as a person. She used me so she can have someone to go to a party with even if it means ditching me to go make out with another guy. And she was really selfish. And she made me feel ugly in different ways I cannot express clearly.
Now, to be honest, I'm not even sure I'm talking about superficial relationships any more, but eh. Oh well.
One more thing, I'm laying off the Alcohol. I don't drink much but when I do, It's crazy. And even if it's easy to say "limit" yourself, it's hard to do that when you don't drink a lot initially.
Alcohol makes me so weird. I mean it makes everyone weird and act out of character but I don't like what I get into. It's like I get the balls to do anything I want. I get super flirtatious with everyone, including strangers, I talk my head off about nonsense, and ugh, I just don't like it. So far I haven't gotten any complaints on my inebriated actions, they actually like it, But I feel so trashy when I do it!
Well, on to finishing my laundry.
I know the feeling of feeling "dirty" inside from a superficial friendship. We are good guys, and we should be treated just as well and genuinely.
Hehehe, I kind of like watching people change when they have alcohol. Sometimes the quiet ones become loud and the loud ones quiet (and then there are the criers, lol). It can be quite the spectacle.
You sound like a fun drunk, :p
Oh goodness, when I'm drunk I feel like I should have a talk show or something.
One time I started surveying everyone about their opinions on the story of "Antigone" and started saying how she could be the next trend for becoming women. Oh my goodness, Only I would talk about Antigone drunk. Such a nerd I am.
Awwww, that's adorable Masa. I'd totally listen to that.