Saturday, March 6, 2010
Some times I have a hard time saying no. When people are talking to me, we have such a good conversation and it just flows through and all of a sudden they're inviting me out to a bar and a club and I say yes and--what did I just do.
Troy is having a little birthday celebration on Wednesday. They plan on going out to dinner and a bar, and a gay club in Visalia called Blitz. I got trapped into this by saying that I was off that night. And when they usually ask if I'm off that night, they just usually invite me over for a drink, or they just want to go shopping or something, but I kinda got ambushed into this one.
For a straight hour, I was having a slight anxiety attack on what I should do. I was still kinda mad at them for making those comments about me not going with them to Pismo. I also don't know who is all going. Troy seems to make friends with a lot of people indiscriminantly, and some of them I don't really trust because of past impressions of how they handle their alcohol. Another thing is that they probably don't have a sober driver. They're my friends, but they are idiots.
One time we went out for dinner and they were straight up drinking beer in the car while driving to the restaurant. I volunteered, no, insisted that I drive because I told them straight up " I am not dying over some ribs, and this is not going to be my last meal either". I know, a bit too dramatic, but shit, that was a 20 minute drive, and they had a twelve pack of tall canned beers that they were downing at a rate of one can every five minutes.
So now, I'm thinking of what I should do.
A coworker told me that she was just going to the dinner and that she wasn't going to the club. We started talking about how irresponsible and reckless they are when it comes to alcohol and we really want nothing to do with it. Only thing is, she's 37 and I'm 21 and troy is turning 25. I feel old after talking about this.
SO, What I think I'm going to do is just go to the dinner, and not the club. I feel like such a prude, but when I say that I only go to clubs and bars with people I trust, I only really go with people I trust, and I don't trust Troy, Ben, Or Channa to take care of me. Fuck that. They always go crazy and I'm always there to witness it, and they ask why I don't let loose with them. They get hurt doing stupid things all the time while they're drunk, and they're always throwing shit and wrestling. I stay away from that, because for one thing, I don't have health insurance (because I'm only a part-timer) and two, if you hit me, bitch I hit back, and twice as hard. I don't do the whole slap wrestle thing.
Last night at work, the guy that had a thing for me gave me a ride to the employee entrance. I haven't seen him in a long time and he greeted me in a weird way. I think this was mean, but I just kinda gave him a "oh hi" and started texting on my phone. He kept asking me questions like " how are you?" and stuff but I kept giving him one word answers like "I'm good". I hope he doesn't think I'm rude out of no where.
My moods are so on and off about people. I wonder if they sense a hot and cold thing about me. I try so hard not to be mean sometimes, but some people can just, ugh, Get on my nerves.
That's all for today.
Troy is having a little birthday celebration on Wednesday. They plan on going out to dinner and a bar, and a gay club in Visalia called Blitz. I got trapped into this by saying that I was off that night. And when they usually ask if I'm off that night, they just usually invite me over for a drink, or they just want to go shopping or something, but I kinda got ambushed into this one.
For a straight hour, I was having a slight anxiety attack on what I should do. I was still kinda mad at them for making those comments about me not going with them to Pismo. I also don't know who is all going. Troy seems to make friends with a lot of people indiscriminantly, and some of them I don't really trust because of past impressions of how they handle their alcohol. Another thing is that they probably don't have a sober driver. They're my friends, but they are idiots.
One time we went out for dinner and they were straight up drinking beer in the car while driving to the restaurant. I volunteered, no, insisted that I drive because I told them straight up " I am not dying over some ribs, and this is not going to be my last meal either". I know, a bit too dramatic, but shit, that was a 20 minute drive, and they had a twelve pack of tall canned beers that they were downing at a rate of one can every five minutes.
So now, I'm thinking of what I should do.
A coworker told me that she was just going to the dinner and that she wasn't going to the club. We started talking about how irresponsible and reckless they are when it comes to alcohol and we really want nothing to do with it. Only thing is, she's 37 and I'm 21 and troy is turning 25. I feel old after talking about this.
SO, What I think I'm going to do is just go to the dinner, and not the club. I feel like such a prude, but when I say that I only go to clubs and bars with people I trust, I only really go with people I trust, and I don't trust Troy, Ben, Or Channa to take care of me. Fuck that. They always go crazy and I'm always there to witness it, and they ask why I don't let loose with them. They get hurt doing stupid things all the time while they're drunk, and they're always throwing shit and wrestling. I stay away from that, because for one thing, I don't have health insurance (because I'm only a part-timer) and two, if you hit me, bitch I hit back, and twice as hard. I don't do the whole slap wrestle thing.
Last night at work, the guy that had a thing for me gave me a ride to the employee entrance. I haven't seen him in a long time and he greeted me in a weird way. I think this was mean, but I just kinda gave him a "oh hi" and started texting on my phone. He kept asking me questions like " how are you?" and stuff but I kept giving him one word answers like "I'm good". I hope he doesn't think I'm rude out of no where.
My moods are so on and off about people. I wonder if they sense a hot and cold thing about me. I try so hard not to be mean sometimes, but some people can just, ugh, Get on my nerves.
That's all for today.
Why thank you!