Friday, March 19, 2010
I just got back from one of the worst dates ever. These are the reasons why it was a bad date:
-We had dinner at a place he could not afford.
-We had dinner at a place he didn't even really like. (He picked the place)
-He was my age and it showed.
-He was very immature.
-He talked about where we can have sex, econolodge, or motel 6, at the start of the date.
-He criticized me for not being a whore.
-I was the deciding factor but he didn't like my decisions.
-This guy couldn't talk about anything intelligent.
-His attempt to be intelligent is to talk about gender roles and same-sex marriage (which I totally called him out on a almost every thing things because his points were so off-whack and opinionated!)
-He Still wanted to have sex regardless of how bad things went.
-He wanted to watch Alice In Wonderland in IMAX even if he couldn't afford the ticket because IMAX costs more. Instead we saw shutter island.
His name was James. He was a little shorter than me, white, skinny and he looked really military-esque. But he was so gay, he spits out glitter when he talks. Which was weird because as gay as he was, he didn't dress very nice. He made me look really hip and trendy. No, he made me look like a major hipster by comparison.
We talked about how our day was, and he asked me " hey, where do you want to do the nasty later? Econolodge? or Motel 6? I'm not picky, I brought condoms". I didn't know what to say, so I kinda chuckled and just went on.
After dinner, he admitted that he didn't like that place but ate there because of me. I didn't even want to eat there myself, and he insisted we go there in the first place.
We went to see a movie. Shutter Island. That movie was so boring, and he was so boring. I tend to talk a little during movies, but he was so dull. It got so bad that I fell asleep about 5 times during the movie and read an Email from my fellow blogger NewLeaf. I think that was the most exciting part of the date. Where he wasn't talking to me and I got to read my email.
OH gosh, and he was breathing so hard that it was distracting me from the movie.
After the movie, we took a walk, and he started talking about gay marriage and crap. I started telling him my take and he started attacking me on how everyone has the right to be married-even if I never said anything to deviate from his opinion. So then he starts talking about guys and girls and all that. This guy knows nothingggg.
So then he starts talking about guys he thinks are hot and guys he wants to do. None of them I find attractive or even tasteful. We weren't talking about celebrities. we were talking about bystanders.
And then we start talking about our lifestyles. It so happens that this dull white boy is a big slut and he has had many partners. I tell him that I in fact struggle to find dates, I don't talk to many guys, and I'm quite reserved in terms of dating. He starts criticizing me about how I'm not having fun with my life and how I'm SOO boring just because I don't do hookups.
I got a little mad at him and told him off. I told him how I make my own money and pay my way through almost everything I do. I pay for my car, my phone, rent, food, pretty much everything. I continue to tell him that going out means I have to use money, and money is something that I don't have a lot of to just go out like he does.
I also tell him that I'm not that kind of gay. I like men, yes, but I don't want to be apart of the cesspool of men who are looking for an easy fuck because it's not satisfying to me.
He steps back, and tells me he is really sorry. He explains that he's still young and he doesn't really have as much responsibility as I do so he didn't understand. He adds that he is only 21.
After that, he apologizes one more time and asks me " We're still on for the sex later right? We really need it, we got off on the wrong foot."
I got a little mad and told him " and you think asking your date to have sex with you is starting on a good one??"
So then he says " you're right, well I'm sorry, To be honest, I was looking for sex. And By taking my offer as a date, I thought you were eager to do it with me."
I tell him "No, I wanted to try you out, have a date, get to know someone new. I'm sorry, but I don't know you well enough to get it on with you like this."
He finishes off by saying: " Well, I learned a lot from you. Believe it or not, you made me feel like an absolute whore right now, but you know what? It's a good thing. I know I have my problems, and I guess I had to face the truth when you called me out on that. I'm a terrible person aren't I?
I tell him in a calm voice: "No, you aren't a terrible person. I don't know who you are. Let's call it a night."
So we part ways a say bye.
I was so relieved. the whole date was so irritating. I wanted to talk to someone of intelligence so I called everyone I knew. But no one answered so...
This date had me realize how hard it is for me to have a gay life. I mean, it's not like I'm looking for it, although, being torn between family, work and priorities, I feel like I have to put it aside more than half the time. This is exactly the reason why I feel like like I'm not gay on some days. i feel like there's not time for it in my life.
Well, this is the last time I'll be dating for a while.
I'm serious this time.
-We had dinner at a place he could not afford.
-We had dinner at a place he didn't even really like. (He picked the place)
-He was my age and it showed.
-He was very immature.
-He talked about where we can have sex, econolodge, or motel 6, at the start of the date.
-He criticized me for not being a whore.
-I was the deciding factor but he didn't like my decisions.
-This guy couldn't talk about anything intelligent.
-His attempt to be intelligent is to talk about gender roles and same-sex marriage (which I totally called him out on a almost every thing things because his points were so off-whack and opinionated!)
-He Still wanted to have sex regardless of how bad things went.
-He wanted to watch Alice In Wonderland in IMAX even if he couldn't afford the ticket because IMAX costs more. Instead we saw shutter island.
His name was James. He was a little shorter than me, white, skinny and he looked really military-esque. But he was so gay, he spits out glitter when he talks. Which was weird because as gay as he was, he didn't dress very nice. He made me look really hip and trendy. No, he made me look like a major hipster by comparison.
We talked about how our day was, and he asked me " hey, where do you want to do the nasty later? Econolodge? or Motel 6? I'm not picky, I brought condoms". I didn't know what to say, so I kinda chuckled and just went on.
After dinner, he admitted that he didn't like that place but ate there because of me. I didn't even want to eat there myself, and he insisted we go there in the first place.
We went to see a movie. Shutter Island. That movie was so boring, and he was so boring. I tend to talk a little during movies, but he was so dull. It got so bad that I fell asleep about 5 times during the movie and read an Email from my fellow blogger NewLeaf. I think that was the most exciting part of the date. Where he wasn't talking to me and I got to read my email.
OH gosh, and he was breathing so hard that it was distracting me from the movie.
After the movie, we took a walk, and he started talking about gay marriage and crap. I started telling him my take and he started attacking me on how everyone has the right to be married-even if I never said anything to deviate from his opinion. So then he starts talking about guys and girls and all that. This guy knows nothingggg.
So then he starts talking about guys he thinks are hot and guys he wants to do. None of them I find attractive or even tasteful. We weren't talking about celebrities. we were talking about bystanders.
And then we start talking about our lifestyles. It so happens that this dull white boy is a big slut and he has had many partners. I tell him that I in fact struggle to find dates, I don't talk to many guys, and I'm quite reserved in terms of dating. He starts criticizing me about how I'm not having fun with my life and how I'm SOO boring just because I don't do hookups.
I got a little mad at him and told him off. I told him how I make my own money and pay my way through almost everything I do. I pay for my car, my phone, rent, food, pretty much everything. I continue to tell him that going out means I have to use money, and money is something that I don't have a lot of to just go out like he does.
I also tell him that I'm not that kind of gay. I like men, yes, but I don't want to be apart of the cesspool of men who are looking for an easy fuck because it's not satisfying to me.
He steps back, and tells me he is really sorry. He explains that he's still young and he doesn't really have as much responsibility as I do so he didn't understand. He adds that he is only 21.
After that, he apologizes one more time and asks me " We're still on for the sex later right? We really need it, we got off on the wrong foot."
I got a little mad and told him " and you think asking your date to have sex with you is starting on a good one??"
So then he says " you're right, well I'm sorry, To be honest, I was looking for sex. And By taking my offer as a date, I thought you were eager to do it with me."
I tell him "No, I wanted to try you out, have a date, get to know someone new. I'm sorry, but I don't know you well enough to get it on with you like this."
He finishes off by saying: " Well, I learned a lot from you. Believe it or not, you made me feel like an absolute whore right now, but you know what? It's a good thing. I know I have my problems, and I guess I had to face the truth when you called me out on that. I'm a terrible person aren't I?
I tell him in a calm voice: "No, you aren't a terrible person. I don't know who you are. Let's call it a night."
So we part ways a say bye.
I was so relieved. the whole date was so irritating. I wanted to talk to someone of intelligence so I called everyone I knew. But no one answered so...
This date had me realize how hard it is for me to have a gay life. I mean, it's not like I'm looking for it, although, being torn between family, work and priorities, I feel like I have to put it aside more than half the time. This is exactly the reason why I feel like like I'm not gay on some days. i feel like there's not time for it in my life.
Well, this is the last time I'll be dating for a while.
I'm serious this time.
Hey Masa –
Once again I’m behind on my blog reading – so I just read this.
Sorry that your date sucked. I’m glad my email made the movie more interesting. I saw Shutter Island a few weeks ago – and I wasn’t too impressed. It’s a Sunday afternoon HBO movie – not a pay $10 for a theatre ticket movie.
I know what you mean – it can be very frustrating when you go out with someone and they just turn your stomach. Obviously there was something there initially – otherwise you wouldn’t have gone out with him. We meet someone and thing that it would be cool to go out with them – only to find out that they’re a huge jackass. Not that I’ve “dated” so much recently – but in some weird way, I always think of my “hookups” as a potential date. And obviously, that never happens. Well – almost never. I did go out with one guy a few months back three times after our first experience, but he turned out to be a real loser. And one of the guys from last week actually emailed me the other day; he wants to meet up again. I’m not sure if he’s just interested in sex, or if he’s looking for a relationship – but the teenage girl in me wants him to want a relationship. Murphy’s Law dictates that it won’t happen.
Good for you avoiding the hookups – and not going to the EconoLodge with this guy. I know you don’t want to go out with anyone right now – but you’re young – and there’s someone out there. I know that sounds so cliché, but there is. How do you find someone decent? Beats the hell out of me. Bars suck. Craigslist sucks. Online dating sucks. About ½ of the guys in my gay dad’s group are coupled with another guy – so I know that some gay men are able to meet decent guys.
It sounds like this guy was really trying to impress you. I’m not saying he did a good job at it – but I think he was into you. Maybe he just wanted to get you in room 107 at the Motel 6 – but still. He took you to a place he thought you would like. He took your comments with stride – even saying he learned a lot from you. A genuine asshat would have told you to fuck off and left. I’m not saying your actions were wrong – I’m just saying it sounds like this guy was interested enough to try to make things work. And when it became obvious that they weren’t going to – he didn’t go ballistic and start flinging insults. That being said – if you’re not a match – you’re not a match. Move on.
-nl
Ohayo-gozaimasu (^.^)
hvent read many blogs lately.. its only because its holidays now.
anyways, i would like to think that the word "date" is an overstatement for what you endured.
im a little behind on things, but where did this guy come from?
a friend of a friends?(o.O)
well, least New Leaf could entertain u that day (^.^)
but do listen to NL, there will be someone out there; but dont overdo the searching or u might miss that someone who you were intending to find.
anyhows, off to finish catchin up on 2 months of missed unread posts haha